when you see my face, hope it

…gets me my library books.

So I was emailing Buffy earlier, and I just realized that this story has more facets that could be appreciated by the broader internet audience (haha, of 6) that read my blog. *warning* This is what it would be like to spend time with me in real life. This is the sort of thing that I spit out all the time. Even if it’s just to myself in a crazy little personal monologue. Scary.

Yesterday was not the easiest of days. Lots of stuff going on with work and life. I haven’t been sleeping well, and the endorphins that my workout usually pumps me full of were not enough to convince me that a) I am not settling into chubby permanently or b) that being awake on an icy rainy February day is worthwhile.

That said, I got an email from the library saying that a mystery that I had reserved an audio book of was in and waiting for me. I was kind of excited, since I have some really tedious work to do (for work) this weekend, and I thought this would really help. In my childish anticipation, I left the office without grabbing my purse containing my library card, but that was okay, because I had my driver’s license.

I need my driver’s license, because in tale that illustrates an ironic twist of governmental idiocy, I went to the library in November without my DL or library card. Being able to rattle off your library card number (**********2833) isn’t enough to prove that you and this particular card have a long-term relationship, oddly enough. When arguing (mildly, I wasn’t terribly upset) with the librarian about this, after all, I can even type in my four digit pin, I failed to point out to her the biggest reason I find this ridiculous. In Wisconsin? In the huge-mongo-rific Presidential election that same month? I, as a voter, was not required to show photo ID in order to cast a ballot in my name. All they wanted was a current utilities bill, which I could have stolen out of any garbage can, and voila! I vote. But to get my library books? No, ma’am. Heaven forbid that you take home government property under a false identity, but by all means, vote for our next national leader. (This struck me as doubly funny because this particular branch was a polling location.)

Um…where was I? Oh, right. I have my DL yesterday, but not my card. So I get up to the counter and hand over my ID and apologize for not having my library card. In between pleasant banter with her co-workers, this particular Jekyll and Hyde librarian scowls at me and growls “Next time? You really need to have your card with you.” At which point she ignored me and went back to talking to Jenny bookshelver about rainbows and kittens.

I know, right? I wanted to slap her, or even just point out that I check out books probably 50+ times a year (I’m addicted to one of the most socialist government institutions, I know) and since moving to Mad-town four years ago I have forgotten my card maybe six times, at the most.

The clincher to my bad day? The audio book was on cassette tapes. What is that?! I used to have a walkman, but that was when I was in high school. Which I bought nearly a decade ago, knowing at the time that cassettes were on their way out. You might as well be lending out 8-tracks, people. *sigh*


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