good days, sunshine.

Today I went to the farmer’s market with Francie and Emily. It was lovely. It’s spring and everyone was all sunshiney and green-like. (Yes, the people. Don’t make fun of me, I’m happy.) I bought fresh tomatoes and a cilantro plant. And we had coffee, and talked girl-talk (the version that I am capable, anyway, picking apart professors, apartment hunting, work, and only briefly touching on boys – we didn’t talk about shoes, clothes or make-up at all.) It was all so normal. Sometimes I’m startled by the ease with which I slide into a new life-stage of grown-up. One of the vendors was a woman and her daughter who used to come downtown Beloit to the farmer’s market. She was just a little girl then, nine or ten, braces and a tendency towards mischief – she once paid for her bagel and cream cheese in pennies, 160 of them. Yeah, she’s not little anymore – tall and definitely not a little kid. So strange.

I’m nearly 24. Old enough to be mid-twenties. Old enough that my milestone birthdays are over. Old enough to come home from the farmer’s market and immediately try to decide what to do for dinner. I have a life, I have an apartment, bills and responsibility.

I have no idea what I am going to do with my life next year, and I’m terrified. Welcome to adulthood.


4 thoughts on “good days, sunshine.

  1. Hi sweetie! If it makes you feel better, you still have a couple of milestones left. Of course there is the big 3-0 and the bigger 4-0, but much sooner than that even…your next B-day will make you a quarter of a CENTURY old. Now I bet you really feel grown up! Hee hee.

  2. I was going to say the same thing as Alisa about birthdays. There’s nothing to make you feel old like 30. I’m not quite halfway there and it already scares me. I’ve been doing adultish things for a couple of years now, and believe me, there will always be a remnant of the terror. Because you think you have yourself settled in and then something comes along and changes all your plans and mixes everything up for you. But you know what, it’s usually a good thing when that happens. It makes us make positive life-decisions that we probably would never have gotten off our butts to make in our little happy-complacent world.
    And being a grown-up definitely has its perks, too… But I won’t mention them here :-) But the coffee and talking is definitely one of them.
    Love you.

  3. Hmm… I guess I didn’t word that right. Or something.
    But I think I meant I’m not quite half-way through my twenties.
    (but coming from the quagmire that is my brain, who knows….)

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