Can’t Live, If Living is With Your Mess
(AP) MADISON, Wisconsin – In a notice posted at spider view last week, the tenant of 107 J put forth a demand and a challenge. “NOTICE – The spider living under the bottom drawer must vacate by 7:00am, Sunday, July 17. If spider does not comply, she will be forcibly evicted, tried and punished, possibly by death.”
This was a bold stand to make against a friendly, conscientious spider, whose only fault was leaving a dusting of her victims littering the otherwise clean tiles of the kitchen. But 107 J was and is adamant about the need for the spider to leave.
“I can’t live with this any longer,” she told the press, “It’s nerve-wracking. Little fly parts on my floor, fears about spiders running across my feet. This is not what I signed on for, not at all. I wanted a peaceful home to loll about in, a place where I could cook without menace to my periphral limbs.”
Although the spider could not be reached for comment, the press gathered like vultures to watch the show down. 107 J approached the web with care, waiting for the inhabitant to relax its guard. Armed with Lysol, she pounced, glittering globes of liquid clinging to the gossamer web, as the spider quickly retreated to the recesses of the under cabinets.
“I sure hope that got her,” was 107 J’s replies to the harried questions, “but if it didn’t, I’m ready. I have a plan B.” She proudly held up what her other hand contained – a bottle of window washing liquid, with ammonia!
Tomorrow: Fright in Flight – A Spider’s Journey