Serious thoughts on Vowel Gender.
This I suppose I should have saved for last, as it is the most interesting of the lot, because it is impossible to discover with any certainty what gender it is. I think the capital A is male, with a strong . . . well, anyway, it’s male. The little a, however, is cute and feminine, at least if you write it that way, rather than just as an o with a straight back. The little o with a straight back could be a girl or a boy . . . either way, only really young. I don’t really know.
!Laugh! If ever there was a male letter, this is it. E is bold, it takes charge. e hangs around a lot, just watching, silent. It doesn’t follow all the normal rules. It just is. It slips in and out of social situations, pretends to be more important than it really is a lot of the time, and makes a lot more noise than necessary. Yup. Definitely male.
This one is simple. I think I is definitely male. So is i. Ask any of the girls why I think so. If they can’t tell you . . . they don’t know very much about me at all. Not jsut the way they look, either. Their sound is like the hyper-activity of little boys playing at war-games, of first cars and . . . oh, it’s just definitely male.
I think that O is definitely female, as is o. Come to think of it, this is the only vowel that is unequivocably feminine. It’s a sort of maternal sort of letter, comforting, encircling . . . sort of a safe surroundedness. It’s sound is feminine and soft too, sooooothing and comfortable. It is the sound mothers make to shush and soothe. Yes, O is feminine.
I would have said that this is an ambigous letter. But . . . I don’t know anymore. I think it might actually be feminine too . . . like a mother sheep, you know, like a ewe. Like a safe, fluffy sheep. Deep sounds. U. u. Hmm. Yes, probably female and also very maternal. There really aren’t any sexy femal vowels, are there? Sad, but true. I guess you have to look through the rest of the alphabet, for v and z, to find the sexy little female letters.