So this last week I’ve read three books, all pretty different. The first was the sweetest, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society , by Shaffer and Barrows, due out late in July. I had no idea that the Channel islands were occupied during World War II. This story tells about the occupation, stories of things that happened tied in with a simple love story. Written in letters, it reminded me of the light but touching story I love in Daddy-Long-Legs, by Jean Webster. I highly recommend it.

My other two reads were both dystopian fanstasy, (yay dystopia! Emy and I had the funniest conversation about our secret obsessions with dystopian fiction the other day. Why is that we enjoy reading about what would happen if all our social and environmental standards broke down?) but they are very different from each other, although I devoured both, so I suppose they are both good in their own ways. The first was He, She, and It, by Marge Piercy, which I have intended to read for a very long time. It explores the idea of artificial intelligence and personhood. Shira’s work with the cyborg Yod is woven together with her grandmother’s story of the golem of Prague. It is obvious from the get-go that Piercy is a strong feminist, leaning much more heavily on her female characters and leaving her men to languish in two-dimensional mediocrity. However, it was a fascinating read because I am always interested in secular considerations of identity and soul, and it’s tied into the mystical Jewish story of the golem, showing that the struggle of man creating life is not a new consideration. It was a hefty read, and I am hoping to read more of her in the future. The second was not something I would normally have picked up, but it was a favorite of a friend, so I agreed to try it. Stephen King’s The Gunslinger was a complete surprise to me. The first 100 pages I sat out by the pool and read a few pages and set it down puzzled, picked it up, read a few more and put it back down. I was confused. Then I hit the second section and suddenly I couldn’t put it down. I read the rest of it before bed. I know now what my bro-in-law meant when he said that Stephen King can describe anything so that you think you can see and touch and taste it. Sometimes it’s disturbing, and you’re a little startled, but most of the time he can evoke an entire world with just a few words and it’s amazing. I will definitely consider reading the rest of the Gunslinger series, although I doubt I will ever appreciate Carrie or The Shining. Surprise to me!

*edit*

So I guess I lied, I’ve finished 5 books in the last week. I just stumbled on two more books that I have read. The first is a mass market mystery, nothing special, just something I read one evening because I got an advance reader of it. Hide, by Lisa Gardner. It was not spectacular, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it could be.  It was a long line-up of suspects, over-development of minor characters as red herring material, and a surprise ending that seems unfair because it was introduced in the last 100 pages.  The second was another dystopian novel, Daughters of the North, by Sarah Hall.  It was alright. It was touted as having hints of Atwood’s Handmaiden’s Tale but I found that to be a little of an overstatement.  Hall is a bit heavy-handed with her feminism, eliminating all male characters nearly entirely, and idealizing an all-woman community in a way that anyone who has lived in a girls’ dorm would be able to refute.  There are no relationships, homo or heterosexual, that ring true. The connections of the characters are shallow and hard to understand, and the protagonist’s idolizing of the leader Jackie is confusing and not inspiring.  I enjoyed it, but due to content and the pedantic nature of her writing, I would probably not recommend it to anyone but fellow dystopian buff.

Retail work is its own brand of purgatory. I’m sure that my Roman Catholic constituents (ah, the bliss of an election year!) would have to raise their hackles at this assessment, but just consider for a moment. Purgatory is a place where souls that die in grace are suspended while they do penance for their sins and are purified before they are shuttled off to heaven. And although I guess that there’s no shuffling off to work heaven at the end of the road for most of us, and if it really was for expiation of past sins, perhaps more retail workers would be middle-aged women on their cell phones, I do believe in the purifying properties of the miserable side of the service sector’s counter. It takes grace and aplomb to politely ask the middle-aged man flirting with you as he buys soft p*rn from you if he wants a bag when your mind is snapping out a biting answer to the inevitable answer - “Of course you want a bag, coward, and no, I don’t want your number.” Or to smile and cancel the transaction for the guy who doesn’t want to put $49.95 onto his platinum credit card because you won’t give him the coupon that would save him $3. So, here they are, folks. The top five things to miss about your job in retail.

5. The flexible schedule - being “allowed” to work every Friday night and weekend.

4. A hourly pay rate that won’t cover your lunch.

3. The extra pay you make every holiday which you work, which is actually every holiday.

2. Answering the phone as a retail worker and realizing that you actually are someone’s personal shopper. “Um, great, so I just have four or five more that I want to have you run check.”

1. Being treated like a criminal and having a manager rifle through your bag to check for stolen merchandise every time you leave the store.

Yay. I miss it already.

It hailed today. Dime-size pellets of ice, so many that for a brief moment of time, everything was covered, and it looked like Lilliput had been covered by Brobdingnag snow. But just for a moment, and then the torrent of midwestern flood wannabee washed it all away.

Little side streets are a funny place early in the morning. Men dropping girls off before work, women kissing someone goodbye in the garage. Tired faces framed by wet curls loading bags into front seats. Doors opening and closing.

I have a new job, and as of today, I have a new apartment lined up. At the end of this month, I will leave retail, and as a former co-worker told me, I will never look back. This coming Christmas the only shopping I will have to encounter is my own. And Christmas Eve…I will not be ringing up frantic last-minute shoppers with anger problems. I will be at home. Yay.

I have lots of other things I was to say, but that’s all for now.

Ten Years Ago

I had just finished my freshman year of high school and was probably spending the summer bumming rides off my brother, reading, and working at the bagel store.

Today’s To Do List

Go to work, remember to drop off rent check, get groceries, and not strangle anyone who I work with. (Noble goals, yes? One should only work retail up to a certain point without a promotion to manager. Otherwise, you’re doing the job with none of the authority and respect, and you begin to lose bits of your soul.)

If I Were Suddenly A Billionaire

(let’s assume we have given to the church.)

1. Make sure my parents are okay to retire.

2. Support the Uganda mission, maybe build their clinic an actual maternity wing.

3. Pay off my siblings’ and my student loans.

4. Buy a home.

5. Invest

3 Bad Habits

Worrying, not being organized with my money, laziness.

5 Most Recent Jobs

1. Periodicals clerk at large bookstore.

2. Visiting Assistant Professor at small liberal arts college.

3. Teaching Assistant at huge public university.

4. Shift Manager at crazy private coffee shop in KY.

5. Deli work at small Bagel store.

5 Random Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I love thunderstorms.

2. I lost all the fingernails on my left hand when I was 14.

3. I love to sing but never do because I know so many people with amazing voices.

4. I like to eat Ranch Doritos with sour cream to dip them in.

5. I’m secretly addicted to Lost.

5 Places I Want to See/See Again

Want to see: Rome, Greece, Ireland, the Louvre, and Nairobi.

Want to see again: Uganda, London, Jasper and Banff, the Bay of Fundy and the Gulf of Mexico.

these are some thoughts for a dear friend of mine who is in a rough patch, words that really have something to say for all of us.

our lives have not passed us by.

let that soak in for a minute.

our lives have not passed us by.

our disappointments, our sorrows, our griefs all have a purpose. the loves that we have lost are no less our loves simply because they slipped through our fingers or walked away. they still have had a profound effect on our lives, and we on theirs.

love lost doesn’t lose its reality, its tangible touch on our everyday existence.

just because the patter of little feet in our apartments are those of mice…just because your current hobbies are all solitary…doesn’t make your life less of a life than those who are blissfully coupled off.

unconditional love is not found solely in marriage relationships. the fact that we can call each other when we are devastated, when our hopes and dreams have once again gone up in flames, that counts for something. just because no one who loves us unconditionally has had the gender or inclination to marry us doesn’t mean that we haven’t given and received the kind of love that people search for their whole lives. sometimes you don’t get to live near or frequently converse with the people that you would give your life for, but that doesn’t change the emotion.

and if we can grow closer to our Lord, none of this pain and sorrow will be anything in the end. just a short prologue to our eternal story.

I know I haven’t been around. Working two jobs (one of which was an hour away) kind of took away any sort of lazing around that I had while still writing my thesis. I have been reading though. So here’s a little of what has passed across my bookshelf (these are just the novels, I edited out the boring books on linguistics and the biographies.)

The Mysterious Benedict Society, by Trenton Lee Stewart

This was a good rollicking kids book. Completely unbelievable, but really fun.

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, by Betty Smith*

This is such a sad book on one level. Talk about reality.

In the Woods, by Tana French

Apparently I am into psychological mysteries. This wasn’t the better of the two, but she’s a good writer.

The Likeness, by Tana French

This was really good. A lot like the Secret History.

Unaccustomed Earth, by Jhumpa Lahiri

These were incredible short stories about the Bengali immigrant experience.

The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold

This was a harsh book, but beautiful in its own way.

The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett

I didn’t want to read this because of Oprah, but it was a long read, so I tried it. It was really really really good.

The Chameleon’s Shadow, by Minette Walters

Mystery. This one was only so-so.

The Echo, by Minette Walters

This book was so confusing and subversive. I really enjoyed it.

The Dark Room, by Minette Walters

This one was also really good.

The Other Boleyn Girl, by Phillipa Gregory

I haven’t seen the movie, but I devoured this book.

The Boleyn Inheritance, by Phillipa Gregory

This wasn’t anywhere near as good as the Other Boleyn Girl, but it was okay.

Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons

A friend recommended this. It was good in a random sort of way.

The Girl With No Shadow, by Joanne Harris

This was a lovely book. Really twisted, confusing, and incredibly well written.

Castle Waiting, by Linda Medley

The first graphic novel I’ve ever read. It wasn’t bad.

To Do Lists, Sasha Cogen

This was hilarious.

The Perilous Gard, by Elizabeth Pope *

I loved this book. I always have.

Alias Grace, by Margaret Atwood

This book was slow to pick up, but it was really good.

The Blind Assassin, by Margaret Atwood

This was lovely. Really well written.

The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde

I liked this one, but it took 3 tries to get into it.

The Spiderwick Chronicles,

These were really good kids books. Just really

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clark

This was like science fiction meets Charles Dickens. A little overwrought.

I’m in the middle of a whole bunch more, but these are the ones I enjoyed and finished.

I tried to give you just a tiny blurb about each, but that’s the shortest version. Give a note if you want to hear more about any of them.

As for me….I’m doing well. I’m on the job market, and I have a really good opportunity hopefully…we’ll see. I love all of you. Sorry I have been so busy.

Coral is sick.

I guess I should have seen this coming. I’ve been crazy busy, and now that Christmas is finally over and I’ve relaxed for a couple of days I am now colossally sick. Yay.

So…what I’ve been reading recently.

A Version of the Truth, by Jennifer Kaufman and Karen Mack.
This one was okay. Nothing great, just fluffy chick lit. But it was free, an advance reader.
Sabriel, Lireal, Abhorsen, by Garth Nix.
These were all good. A little weird, but I read the first one once a long time ago, so it wasn’t as weird this time around. The middle book is a little whiny and long, but the last book makes up for it.

Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist’s Wife, by Irene Spencer.
This was one of the best written memoirs I’ve read in a long time. I like reading about other people’s lives, and this one was written by a born again Christian. What I liked about it was how she could still see the beauty in her life, and how she rejoices in her children.

I have also been reading the magazine The Sun recently too. It’s crazy liberal sometimes, but other times the writing is really beautiful.

That’s really all.

I’m going back to sleep. Other than having coffee with Joe and Seth yesterday, that’s really all I’ve done for 3 days.

P.S. I just saw the made for TV movie based on Noel Streatfield’s Ballet Shoes. It was delightful. Really truly delightful.

that’s not a song lyric in my title. it is simply what is missing from everyday life. when i was in college, i seem to recall folding my clean laundry….i don’t anymore. i use the same 3 shirts that i wore last week, just on different days so my co workers don’t catch on.  i wash dishes, but that’s because with a dishwasher, i have no excuse.  i often get up and go to work within 10 minutes of each other, which means the bed is the same state of disheveled when i get home that it was when i first hit the alarm clock with a little more vehemence than necessary. my bedside table, littered (for sure) with many good reads, a few decent movies and my journal also houses kleenex, 4 different colors of nail polish, nail polish remover, melatonin, two different lotions a pile of cds on which my computer is backed up, the scissors, two flash drives, assorted writing utensils and several receipts.  not that it’s particularly messy, but it’s no martha stewart.  my living room is very well tended, but my bedroom looks significantly like i don’t bother.

i finished christmas shopping. it wasn’t hard. there aren’t that many of us, and i don’t have the money for the rest of the people i wish i could buy for.  i do need to vacuum, find places for all the books that i have read recently but haven’t filed properly. i think i should win for most eclectic taste in reading. i shall have to inform you all of it soon.

i love you all.

In adulthood, momentous occasions are surprisingly anticlimactic.

College graduation is a pretty big hoopla. You rent or buy a cap and gown, you wear your best clothes, there’s a lot of to do. Everyone hears them call your name, everyone sees you shake the college president’s hand. You stand around in the lawn and take a lot of pictures and everybody makes a lot of fuss.

Life is not like that.

I defended my thesis today.

When it was over, I had a long talk with my friend J. about her pending divorce/separation and put on my snow boots and slopped my way to the bus stop, where I took the bus back to the bookstore where my car was parked. On the way home, I picked up some stuff from the Chinese grocery (my favorite place ever!) and called the clan. Now I’m home sitting on my bed in my clean room, looking at the stacks of library books to be returned and pondering dinner options. Granted, there will be celebration. Mom and Dad are planning to come up and get dinner with me (a surprise, I was planning to make egg rolls,) it is not the kind of elation that you might expect.

There is no big deal, there were 3 hearty handshakes and a round of congratulations, and it was over. I am an MA, and there are still dirty dishes and student loans and snow to shovel. Life is startlingly boring.

It has been brought to my attention, by my brain, that I am an adult. I know, I know…for those of you who read my blogging ramblings, I’m sure this is no surprise, since I appear to have this revelation approximately every six months.  But see, I’m not an adult like that whole crowd of my college peers, who are marrying and having children as if the rapture was scheduled for January 1, 2008. I’m an adult. I go to work, I come home, I have lived completely on my own for nearly three years. I buy my own groceries, have mastered the art of eating leftovers for a whole week after cooking, and have a therapist’s dreams’  worth of idiosyncratic habits and tendencies that I will quite likely never be broken of. My apartment begins to look more and more like a home and less and less like a dorm room (see below). I read obsessively, and have been known to pass up an evening of human company in order to finish some heavy softcover novel or tiny book in a dead language. My introvert and extrovert tendencies seem to have melded into a goulash of confusion - all the flavors ending up as one.  I guess one could call this mellowing.

I passed the German exam. I defend in one week. I will have my MA before my brother gets home for Christmas. I don’t know what I’m going to do next. How’s the classics Ph.D. program in Lexington? Anyone have any idea? Don’t get me wrong, I love it here in the frozen north. The 6-7 inches of snow we got last night are pretty much my idea of a great storm. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do with a terminal MA in classics (doesn’t that make it sound more like a disease than anything else) and a private liberal arts education’s worth of debt.  Interesting.  We shall see, I guess.

Hmm. Introspective these days, aren’t I? Disturbing. Fear not, my devoted friends and readers. I may be bent, but not broken. Hearts have an amazing amount of resilience because hope is inherent to humanity. We can’t help it. When you come to the end of hope, there is always just one glimmer more. It’s woven into our souls.